by LalaLiu, writer for Art Geek and Fashion Freak
Not all pieces of clothing are meant to fit your body. It is simply a fact of life that we women must learn to accept, although sometimes I myself tend to ignore that law of fashion but quickly have it reinforced when I find myself trying on a adorably-voluminous-but-too-wrong-for-my-body-type trapeze dress.
As much as I would like to fit everything that catches my easily attracted eyes, I can't. Of course I could always opt for plastic surgery, but then there is always that fear of melting in the heat. If my plastic shoes could not withstand the sun indoors then there is a big possibility that my molded, artificially "enhanced", bod of perfection would whither away into a pile of plastic soup. But then again, I could always ask my parents to recycle me which is a definite plus.
So it seems, to me at least, that there is no other option but to accept the body I was given, or more like the one created by my own will with the help of all the fatty goods out there. However, I do believe there is another option out there for all the hopeless and the hopeful: When things don't fit, make it fit. And by that I don't mean that buying jeans that make your legs look like a sausage link or buying baby/childrens clothing when clearly you are not a baby/child. Even being a child at heart does not cut it either.
Then what do I mean when I say, "When things don't fit, make it fit"? Well, I mean exactly that. Be creative. Be innovate. Be spontaneous. Be wacky. Just make it happen
I had never applied my theory fully until I tested it out on the red skirt. To demonstrate my philosophy for you readers I have divided the task of making the skirt fit when it doesn't into a few easy steps.
- Get a skirt that doesn't fit. I'm sure there are plenty out there for you to choose from. No, I did not just call you fat.
- Wear it and see how much you have to suck in or how long before you suffocate to death. If you had to do any of those things mentioned, then you have found yourself a skirt that doesn't fit.
- When you wear the skirt make sure it sits on your body a little higher than usual and encircles the smallest part, most likely the waist. After doing so see if your skirt covers your butt. If it doesn't, then you've got a skirt that's too short. Unless you want to give everyone you walk by a free peepshow, it is usually not recommended, but nobody is stopping you.
- Just to see if you are following the rules, recheck to see if a) the skirt doesn't fit, b) the skirt is rather high waisted and c) the skirt is a skirt and not a bandanna covering your crotch. If you have passed all of the above you are now ready for the real stuff. Congratulations.
- Wear the skirt and zip it up. Then zip it down and fold the unzipped parts down until the waistline fits your waist.
- Try different methods of folding to see what you like.
- or hand sew if you like.
- Try it on again.
- Look at yourself in the mirror.
- Check to see if it actually fits. If it does, Hooray! You have overcome your problem with grace and dignity. If not, start from step one again.
Below are some images to help give you an idea of what I mean if you are in any way confused of weirded out by what I am trying to say.
If you still don't get it, then you're either dumb or I just suck at life. I hope its the former.
There it is. When skirts don't fit, pull it down until it fits which perfectly falls under my proposed "when things don't fit, make it fit"-theory.
If it so happens that someone asks you if your skirt doesn't fit or is too small you can always reply with this fail proof response, "It's like avante garde. Duh." And walk away confidently in your skirt that once did not fit.