My Jet Setter Lifestyle: Post V-day Party and KC's "surprise" birthday

NOTE: Events and conversations have been slightly changed to heighten the cool factor of this story.


I'm quite the jet setter these days. I like to live my life fast and fierce. Yesterday, my posse and I hit it up big time. It all started last week when I got a call from funk master T.
"Hey you busy next weekend?" he said.

I flipped through my planner "Nah, I can schedule it in" I said.

"Cool" he said.

"Better plan up something wickedly fantastic" I said.

"When do I never?" funk master T replied.

"True that."

I hung up and got back to my business.

A week later I was back at home. The phone rang. It was funk master T.

"What's the plan?" I asked.

"We're gonna hit up the world today."

Awesome."

"Plus, it's KC's birthday on Monday so it can also be a surpise celebration as well. BusaBabe and I baked a cake. An awesome cake to be exact. With fruits and cake and flour."

"Awesome."

"See you tomorrow then."

"Awesome."

I went to bed. The night passed and I woke up. I got dressed in my obnoxious outift in preparation for my obnoxious day coming up. I called my chauffeur Barbie to come pick me up. He drove up in a newly refurbished 11 year old Nissan.

"Hello! Can you take me Target? I need to pick up some goodies for KC and then we got to go pick up KC around 10:30 if we want to make it in to for the flight to China."

"China?"


"Yeah. We're gonna dim sum it big time."

I opened the door that wouldn't open. "Excuse me Barbie, the door won't open."

"Oh sorry, this is the door that won't open. Sorry bout that. You can use the other door. That's the door that will open."

"No worries. It's all good."

Barbie drove fast and furious down the suburb paved roads. I could see the jealously pouring from the pores of old ladies as we speeded 40 mph in my tricked out 11 year old Nissan. Oh yeah.

I went into Target and was greeted by the smell of Target products. I picked up some great things and then off we went.

It was exactly 10:30 when we arrived at KC's palacial casa.

"WHY HElllllllo!!" I was greated by the ever cool, ever lovely KC.

"Heyyyyy!!"

"I like your tights. They remind me of trolls. But in a good way." She said.

"Aw thanks! And I like your face. It reminds me of a monkey. But in a good way" I said.

"Aw thanks!" She said.

We hoped into the car. Barbie drove at the speed of grease lightning towards the airport.

When we got thhere, we were early and so we waited for the rest. And we waited. And waited. And waited. It felt like we were waiting for Godot, but longer.

Finally, KC and I heard the sound of a "Take Me On" by the A-Ha's and we knew they were here. We were greeted by funk master T, BusaBabe and B.Boi. B.boi, our resident pilot unlocked the jet and we all hopped in ready to go dim sum it. Finally after 12 hours of flight, B.boi landed smoothly and we skipped towards dim sum. We ordered a number of yummies. It was all good but what I really wanted was some red tofu a euphemism for pork blood if you like. Finally the cart arrived and I got my heart's desire. I made everyone try some. KC was the only one who spit it back out. Oh lonely red tofu, you were rejected.

We ate delicious cake that BusaBabe and funk master T baked. The cake was yum.

"The cake is yum." I said.

After our brunch we decided to head over to the race tracks and get our racing on.

BusaBabe didn't have a license yet so she didn't quite know how to drive. She ran into KC.




Thank fully, KC was not harmed. I captured
I the incident on my camera. I became the agressive driver and decided to run funk master T over. It was unsuccessful because he just ran too fast. He was like Forrest Gump, but faster.

While waiting for the race to start, I gasped.

"Oh my god." I gasped.

"What is it?" Busababe asked.

"Look, it's a real life Beatle!"

"Where?"

"Over there on the bench!"
"Where?"

"Over there by the tree!"

"Where?"

"Over there!" I pointed.

She saw. She gasped. Our gasps had gone to waste seeing as it was only B.Boi wearing my old man glasses.

The race started and it was on. I got bumped into many times by an agressive driver in plaid. It made my angry, but I'm over it now.

Afterwards, I checked my watch.

"Oh shoot!" I exclaimed. The gang looked at me and all said "Oh shoot!" in unison. We were late. We had to get to London in time seeing as how we were guest DJing at the latest hipster club. BBoi flew at the speed of light and we were there in five minutes.

I worked my magic on the turntables while BusaBabe and KC did their mojo on the keyboard. B.Boi and funk master T went off to play video games instead. Typical. They did come back later to perform a special guitar showdown.

The people loved us and they wanted us to stay. I wanted to stay and party it up with the London kids, but sadly we had to go.

BusaBabe and I, being the international supermodels that we are had to rush over to Paris in time for a photoshoot. I'm the model with the octupus face and monkey hair, but BusaBabe is the sultry petite siren. I guess the photographer wanted a juxtaposition between the odd and the hot. I'm the odd one if you didn't know.

The shoot went fantastic. BBoi and funk master T just waited outside the studio smoking up chocolate cigars while me and BusaBabe did our stuff.

KC decided to jump into the picture, when all of the sudden, the photographer screamed. Like really screamed. Like a high pitched girl scream.

"A muse! A muse! A muse has been sent from the heavens above."

Apparently, the photographer was totally inspired by KC's monkey face that he fainted. We did our own photoshoot instead.

We also decided to go to Egypt. Just for random I guess. I saw the pyramids and sand.

It was getting late and we realized that we had to go back to LA for our major performance at the Cool Club. On the plane ride back we listened to some awesome music. The gang does have such great taste in music from Queen to Michael Jackson to David Bowie to Aqua to Phantom of the Opera to everything else that was cool in the 80's or 90's. Aww, my friends are so cool.

We landed at LAX and speed walked towards the club. In addition to being a sultry petite siren, BusaBabe is also the renown soulful sultress in our band. She and B.Boi make the best lead singers ever.

We rocked it out big time even though I was only backup. But as they say, every little role is important. KC was our resident robot dancer.




Funk master T feel asleep on this orange couch. We woke him up and told him it's time to go. We were finished with our gig.

"Let's go."

We left even though the crowd was begging us to come back.

I called up mommy. Barbie decided to take a nap at home so he couldn't come pick me up in his tricked out 11 year old Nissan.

I said goodbyes to everyone for a wonderful adventure.

"Good planning man! We hit it up big time!" I told funk master T.

"You know what they say, Go Big or Go Home" Funk master T said.

"For sure....for sure."

EDIT:GRRR...blog formatting makes me angry.