Sunday, June 29, 2008

Awesomeness is Inside Us All

Note: So I started writing this right after school ended but never quite finished it until now. My first post back and I'm already sounding like some peppy motivational speaker...

A forewarning. I listened to two cheesy graduation speeches this afternoon so if I sound a bit like a generic graduation speaker, lo siento peeps.

It’s always a bittersweet moment when you realize that the school year is over. Our empty room was a sad, sad, supa-sad, pitiful mess. It was a big slap in the face that forced me to realize that another year has passed. You know how everyone says that time flies by fast? Well, time flies by fast. (That’s now the millionth time you heard that phrase, go you!)

One thing about ending another year at school is that it makes me reflect on the things I have done in the past year. It makes me reflect whether or not I have accomplished any of my dreams, whether I have been the person that I want to be and whether or not I was happy with what I have done, thought, accomplished, failed, and lived. And this year, I would have to say a big YES to all three. My second year in college has by far been an extremely awesome year. Despite the busyness with everything going on, I felt like this was a year I truly started discovering who I really was – externally, internally and even in between. Even my intestines and kidneys have discovered who they are. My larynx on the other hand still needs some time to discover who he is. I can now use the excuse for my horrific singing skills by blaming my larynx for not discovering who he is yet.

But yes, this year was definitely awesome. Everything I hoped to do, I did. Everything I hoped to learn, I learned. But clearly, it did not happen without hard work and a clear focus on my goals. I think this is the first time that I’ve actually been hard working (with a little bit of laziness on the side). Double pat to the shoulder. Oh yeah.

I’ve had many people, in person and online, say to me that I am “awesome”. It’s always an awkward moment to accept compliments. Since I’m naturally awkward already, it intensifies things just a bit.

I believe that everyone has the potential for awesomeness. When I look around me, I see a budding opera singer with a part time job as an Amazonian princess. I see a future corporate gal becoming the future of graphic design. I see a famous writer and a doctor who gets a lil queasy at the sight of blood.

My road to awesomeness has not always been smooth. But what I’ve learned is the rockier the road, the more awesome the adventure.

It was only when I entered college, that I truly discovered my love for fashion and my dream of becoming part of that world. I am a business major and at that time I really wanted to double major in fine arts. For that first quarter in college, I had my mind set and I looked forward to being able to be in the studio and going to regular classes. I planned my college life class by class and even thought about how cool it would be to carry around my tools or portfolio while going to an economics class and having students stare at me. It was my idealistic dream. Too bad it was only a dream, because I was not accepted.

I had always thought that I was pretty good when it came to art so getting that “Thanks, but unfortunately” letter deflated my hopes. I panicked at the thought that I would be trapped with four years of learning supply and demand curves and debiting and crediting without being able to immerse myself in the arts. I dwelled on the thought that I wasn’t good enough, if I wasn’t good enough here, would I be good enough anywhere? My dreams of being an art geek involuntary turned into nightmares of being business geek. No. That simply wouldn’t do.

The next year, I decided that if the school could not bring art to me that I would bring art to myself. And that’s what I did. I applied to be a fashion designer and I got it. I applied to be an artist for the paper and then an assistant design director and I got them too. The more I kept pushing onward towards what I wanted to do, the more rewarding and exciting my life became. Many times, I did things on a complete whim, but surprisingly things turned out so well. I now realize that I didn’t need a major or an acceptance into the art school to prove that I was “awesome”, because “awesome” was always inside of me.

So my accomplishments may not be so grandiose. I didn’t get discovered as future of fashion. I didn’t launch a successful career, but who cares. To me, I am proud of what I have done and I think that everyone should be proud of all the things they have accomplished whether small or big.

This summer, I will strive on towards “awesomeness” and you all should too. If there is something that you really want and you dream of then you should just go for it.

For the fashion dreamer like myself...If you love fashion why not invest in a small sewing machine and just let your imagination take you places! Design for your family and friends and let them become your first clients. Even if you’ve never done any sewing before, it never hurts to try. Plus, selling online has never been easier especially with sites such as If you want to be a photographer, go out and set up photo shoots with your friends. Start with a your current camera, play with Photoshop, and maybe eventually save enough money to buy a professional camera. There are so many ways just to start, the hardest part is just getting up and doing it. It doens't matter if you've never or you don't think you can, as long as you try for what you love and believe in your abilities you get a big seal of awesomeness approval from me. Seriously, e-mail me and I'll make you a badge.

People might think I'm just an optimistic dreamer and that it takes more than just belief, but to those people I say, "So what." You may not end up becoming what you hoped to become or doing what you hoped to do, but as I've learned, there's always a reason and as long as you muster the courage to take that first step, you've already accomplished a lot.

We all have the potential for “awesomeness.” Just go for it. Just run with it. And remember, run like mad.

P.S If anyone does grab life by the horns and does something crazy cool with fashion and whatnot, I would love to help out and promote on my lil blog.


Anna Pope said...

I'm sitting here and reading your post and I honestly mean it when I say it has brought the biggest smile to my face. Your words really are beautiful, thank you :)

And good luck with your dreams, because you really are 'awesome'!

rollingmoon said...

Hey tharr. I really think you should tweak this a bit and submit it to NPR's This I Believe.

that would just be pretty darn cool i think.

also for all of us readers who are LA based, we should totally have a shopping day sometime so we can all meet each other and maybe (hopefully) make some new friends cos lord knows it is HARD to make good female friends in this town!!

Nay'Chelle said...

All I can say is that sppech was great. It was actually really motivational.

1234 said...

congrats to you!! three cheers for being awesome!

bestie said...

i had this friend who once told me that i was destined for greatness. as sweet as it was, it never really sunk in or gave a particularly special push to go for the top.

but now, i have a new lil mantra. 'i am destined for awesomeness'. definitely has a better ring to it.(;

Isabel said...

That was the least cheesy grad speech I have ever read/heard. Of COURSE you are awesome!

Hmmm, just a quick question. What are you doing with your clothing collection? Selling or keeping?

Annie said...

yay you!
love it.

Poster Girl said...

That was very inspirational. Congratulations to you for pursuing your goals and dreams. College is the time in which you discover yourself, and since you're a creative person, go for it!

Alya said...

bravo :)

beautifully inspiring..

Fan said...

Hmm I've been a lurker on your "lil blog" for a while now, and I feel like I know you? I mean, your posts have all been so personal and funny and genuine - they're awesome. So finally I decided to come out of the shadows and say "HI".

Not to sound like erm...some creeper who found your eharmony profile, but we have a lot in common. Of course you have no freaking clue who I am...Um, so we're both Asian (assuming you are who you are in your pictures :P), we're the same age, we're both into fashion (duhh), and we're both um business-y majors (I'm economics, but whatever, same difference). I think I've been impressed by how you are able to reconcile your passion for fashion and your academic major that doesn't have much to do with it.

I always tell myself that with my business skills and econ degree I can start a fashion empire - I don't want to be another womenswear designer, I want to be an icon, a mogul of sorts. Yeah, got to start making a collection first right?

I think my school is even more limited, as it's an East coast liberal arts-y school with a nonexistent fine arts program (seriously nonexistent). We also have no clubs (that I know of) that dabble in fashion or design. Still, reading your blog, especially this post, has been really inspiring. To see someone sort of like myself (:P) accomplish so much makes me think...okay I just need to get off my lazy ass and do something.

Wow, this is a really long comment. Um, I don't mean to be stalkerish or anything! I genuinely want to um...get to know you beyond this blog? Haha, seriously! Feel free to email me or whatnot.

Claudia said...

Hi there,
damndamndamn, your stories are always so beautifull, you are a great writer, first An Essay On Tights and now this? Damn. I'm reading other comments, and maybe I should just quit writing, it's obvious that everyone thinks you're awesome, and I really don't make a change, I just came here to leave you a comment about who inspiring you are to me, and ofcourse, to manymany people. You shóuld be proud of yourself, having so much people reading this blog.
Yep, inspiring, awesome, great, beautiful words, I think this is just another fanmail. Anyway, I loved this post. And eh.. Well, thats it. I just really really like it, and you will get there (wherever 'there' is) I really think you will wake up some day and you will realize you are a part of the fashion world. I wish you luck with your rocky road to awesomeness.

Claudia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Secretista said...

Aw. This was awesome! ... haha!

WindintheWires said...

It's quite unfortunate that my one true passion is baking, and I can't really sell baked goods online. So, generally, I end up forcing the food on my family, forcing myself to eat it(I don't generally like the food I slave over, which I guess is okay, because I would be superoverweight if I ate it all), throwing it away, or some combination of all of those.

I desperately want to have a reason to bake, but I'm not legally allowed to work in a bakery(I'm 15, you have to be 16 or even 18) and I don't think anyone would stop at a Baked Goods Stand on the side of the road. . .

Anyway I've been reading your blog a lot, and I just wanted to say hi. It'd be cool have a conversation with you--My email is if you can spare some time in your day to talk. . .

Continue on in your quest to further awesomeness, and enjoy this ridiculously long comment.

noah melody said...

you write way awesome,
I just love reading your posts.
will you please check out my blog sometime(I only started one like yesterday, but what the heck)

Anonymous said...

you. are. a....wesome.

i couldn't think of a better word.

Antoinette said...

Great post, I only just started reading your blog. but it is woderful.

NewYorkChique said...

Ah what an inspirational post
haha and what you're saying is completely true. if you go for something you really love, good things happen. =]

gorgeous said...

Hey there,
loved you entry, really inspiring. I have loved fashion and have been designing since I was 13, but only last year I realized that it is something I 'must' do or I will ergret it. I just took my first leap with a sewing machine and now have started fashion sewing lessons with a real designer!
I'm going to add your blog to mine, I'd love to be added to yours!