Awesomeness is Inside Us All

Note: So I started writing this right after school ended but never quite finished it until now. My first post back and I'm already sounding like some peppy motivational speaker...

A forewarning. I listened to two cheesy graduation speeches this afternoon so if I sound a bit like a generic graduation speaker, lo siento peeps.

It’s always a bittersweet moment when you realize that the school year is over. Our empty room was a sad, sad, supa-sad, pitiful mess. It was a big slap in the face that forced me to realize that another year has passed. You know how everyone says that time flies by fast? Well, time flies by fast. (That’s now the millionth time you heard that phrase, go you!)

One thing about ending another year at school is that it makes me reflect on the things I have done in the past year. It makes me reflect whether or not I have accomplished any of my dreams, whether I have been the person that I want to be and whether or not I was happy with what I have done, thought, accomplished, failed, and lived. And this year, I would have to say a big YES to all three. My second year in college has by far been an extremely awesome year. Despite the busyness with everything going on, I felt like this was a year I truly started discovering who I really was – externally, internally and even in between. Even my intestines and kidneys have discovered who they are. My larynx on the other hand still needs some time to discover who he is. I can now use the excuse for my horrific singing skills by blaming my larynx for not discovering who he is yet.

But yes, this year was definitely awesome. Everything I hoped to do, I did. Everything I hoped to learn, I learned. But clearly, it did not happen without hard work and a clear focus on my goals. I think this is the first time that I’ve actually been hard working (with a little bit of laziness on the side). Double pat to the shoulder. Oh yeah.

I’ve had many people, in person and online, say to me that I am “awesome”. It’s always an awkward moment to accept compliments. Since I’m naturally awkward already, it intensifies things just a bit.

I believe that everyone has the potential for awesomeness. When I look around me, I see a budding opera singer with a part time job as an Amazonian princess. I see a future corporate gal becoming the future of graphic design. I see a famous writer and a doctor who gets a lil queasy at the sight of blood.

My road to awesomeness has not always been smooth. But what I’ve learned is the rockier the road, the more awesome the adventure.

It was only when I entered college, that I truly discovered my love for fashion and my dream of becoming part of that world. I am a business major and at that time I really wanted to double major in fine arts. For that first quarter in college, I had my mind set and I looked forward to being able to be in the studio and going to regular classes. I planned my college life class by class and even thought about how cool it would be to carry around my tools or portfolio while going to an economics class and having students stare at me. It was my idealistic dream. Too bad it was only a dream, because I was not accepted.

I had always thought that I was pretty good when it came to art so getting that “Thanks, but unfortunately” letter deflated my hopes. I panicked at the thought that I would be trapped with four years of learning supply and demand curves and debiting and crediting without being able to immerse myself in the arts. I dwelled on the thought that I wasn’t good enough, if I wasn’t good enough here, would I be good enough anywhere? My dreams of being an art geek involuntary turned into nightmares of being business geek. No. That simply wouldn’t do.

The next year, I decided that if the school could not bring art to me that I would bring art to myself. And that’s what I did. I applied to be a fashion designer and I got it. I applied to be an artist for the paper and then an assistant design director and I got them too. The more I kept pushing onward towards what I wanted to do, the more rewarding and exciting my life became. Many times, I did things on a complete whim, but surprisingly things turned out so well. I now realize that I didn’t need a major or an acceptance into the art school to prove that I was “awesome”, because “awesome” was always inside of me.

So my accomplishments may not be so grandiose. I didn’t get discovered as future of fashion. I didn’t launch a successful career, but who cares. To me, I am proud of what I have done and I think that everyone should be proud of all the things they have accomplished whether small or big.

This summer, I will strive on towards “awesomeness” and you all should too. If there is something that you really want and you dream of then you should just go for it.

For the fashion dreamer like myself...If you love fashion why not invest in a small sewing machine and just let your imagination take you places! Design for your family and friends and let them become your first clients. Even if you’ve never done any sewing before, it never hurts to try. Plus, selling online has never been easier especially with sites such as etsy.com. If you want to be a photographer, go out and set up photo shoots with your friends. Start with a your current camera, play with Photoshop, and maybe eventually save enough money to buy a professional camera. There are so many ways just to start, the hardest part is just getting up and doing it. It doens't matter if you've never or you don't think you can, as long as you try for what you love and believe in your abilities you get a big seal of awesomeness approval from me. Seriously, e-mail me and I'll make you a badge.

People might think I'm just an optimistic dreamer and that it takes more than just belief, but to those people I say, "So what." You may not end up becoming what you hoped to become or doing what you hoped to do, but as I've learned, there's always a reason and as long as you muster the courage to take that first step, you've already accomplished a lot.

We all have the potential for “awesomeness.” Just go for it. Just run with it. And remember, run like mad.

P.S If anyone does grab life by the horns and does something crazy cool with fashion and whatnot, I would love to help out and promote on my lil blog.

Another short Hiatus.

I'm afraid it's so. Now that I've gotten past my dead week of summer laziness, I need to start working on some of my goals I've daydreamed about last quarter mainly re-vamping the business and other fun filled projects.

An Essay on Tights.

I have unusual legs. Although I prefer to call them interesting or special, most students that I walk past during my 10 minute breaks between a management class and another management class might just so happen to categorize my legs under “unusual”. While other people daringly bare their nice flesh colored appendages, my legs are lemony yellow or hot Barbie pink. Some days they even have stripes or polka dots. Like a mood ring, my legs change colors on an almost daily basis making them a truly unusual aspect about me.

See, I have a strange love for tights. Red tights, blue tights, turquoise cable tights, metallic patterned tights, Tylenol colored sheer purple tights, or classic black opaque tights – name any color, style, texture or pattern and a very similar pair probably dwells in the bottomless pits of my dorm wardrobe. Tights have become such an integrated part of my personal style that my friends can automatically tell me apart from the rest of the student body based on my colorful legs. The magical aspect about wearing tights is not only their ability to keep my legs warm on a chilly LA day, but their ability to display my personality, my life, and my dreams with a simple stroke of color on my legs.

My love of color and passion for art are definitely two catalysts in the evolution of my unusual legs. Whenever I am asked my favorite color, I always respond with the color “rainbow”. While some may say my answer is not a real color, I beg to differ. I appreciate all colors equally and fully. Colors have been my lifelong friends ever since I learned to color in a coloring book. Picking one over all others would surely be betrayal at its worst. Wearing tights gives me the ability to display the rainbow on my legs. They quietly scream to the world, or on a microcosmic scale, to UCLA, that I love color, that I am an artist, that I am a fashion renegade and that I am one creative force you don’t want to mess with. I don’t think of the world in black and white, or even grey - I think of the world in rainbow.

Whenever I enter a classroom, I always find myself as the only one with unusual colorful legs. Initially, I always feel out of place, but as I sit down on the cushy seats with my legs in front, my awkwardness fades. I display a sense of pride in my difference and uniqueness from others. While a majority of my classmates in economics or management classes have big dreams of succeeding in the financial world, my big dream has always been to succeed in the fashion world. I dream of someday starting my own line and my own business. Although my career goals may be different from the rest of my classmates, like them, I will nonetheless always retain the valuable knowledge from my academic classes.

In the end, I am okay with having by legs being labeled as unusual. Honestly, I would even prefer being labeled as unusual because that is what I am. I am the quiet girl with the loud legs who sits in the corner of her Intermediate Accounting class that has a brain blossoming with imagination and innovative ideas. When the professor is covering operating and capital leases on machinery and buildings, I am the one thinking of whether my future fleet of industrial sewing machines and seventh story atelier studio would fall under an operating or capital lease.

This was my essay for an accounting related scholarship hence all the little accounting plugs.

This is also a post to distract readers while I finish writing another post and cleaning up my junk room.

I'm bad.

I'm ashamed of my primal thrifting urges.

At the end of every school year, when students start moving out, they place these large bins outside each dorm in which students can put their unwanted stuff, mostly clothing, to donate off to Goodwill.

Everytime I walked past it, I felt like digging through.

I'm bad.

I'm also completely unfocused.

Sophomore Year Comes to an End.

Only finals week left and then I kiss goodbye to a great second year.

I have so many exciting thoughts for summer in my mind. Hopefully they come to life!!




So in return of my missing out of the blogsphere in the past and present, here's a few more fashion photoshoots in return. Enjoy!

Top 3 from photoshoot, bottom 2 Daily Bruin

Lala's Style of the Day (ya know ya missed it!) and big warm fuzzy THANK YOU

• Pink plaid superbubbled top: $1 tjmaxx (me and my clearance rack obsession)
• Magenta Marc by Marc Jacobs skirt: $22 tjmaxx
• Textured black tights: $1.50 target
• Robins egg blue beaded 50's cardigan: $3.99, thank you mart
• Black rose belt: 0.25 local thrift
• Polka dot flats: $3 tjmaxx
• Photoshoot in the handicap bathroom? priceless

It feels so wonderful to get back into the daily outfit picture taking mode. I must have been "lala-style-of-the-day"less for like two weeks. Crazy.

I found this random outfit from last Tuesday in my camera amidst random photos of friends and fashionshow fun.

• LaRok playsuit: $19, Loehmanns. I love this thing but this outfit does require extra time and effort when taking a quick pee.
• Yellow tights: $1 local thrift
• Tigershark band as neck decor: made by me
• White shoes: payless

And last but not least. I want to give a big big THANK YOU to all your sweet comments about the show and just everything in general. What I love about blogging is the sense of community and the encouraging support bloggers get from readers and other bloggers.

You guys make my day. enough said.