Monday, February 2, 2009

Changes and Evolution: Fashion and the More Important Things (Yes it's time to get deep and philosophical)

So things are changing and it's starting to freak me out. As much as I put my best effort forward into creating an optimistic, happy-go-lucky life there are times when I want to break down, stash myself into a corner (preferably my closet) and get all philosophical by having a one on one debate with myself on the meaning of life. I guess this is what life is. Changes. Adapting to the uncertainties that come our way, struggling, dealing, and eventually overcoming. Life feels so real now and it's sad to say it has never felt so 'real' until now. I've been kept in a bubble for too long - partially from my own fear and partially from the environment I grew up in. Now that all these changes are rushing towards me at 1000 mph, it's been difficult to accept them without feeling the harsh blow.

I've found that these changes have started affecting my style and my fashion life. As you can tell from the slow death of my blog, my lack of creative outfits, that more pressing matters are occupying my brain cells. My love for fashion has remained the same if not increased even more now as I realize what I really want to do in life now. I cannot answer why my style has changed but I'm pretty sure that it has to do with all these changes. I must be annoying you all right now with the number of time I've used the word "change". Don't worry, I'm not trying to steal Obama's thunder.

Through the evolution of my style, I attempt to analyze the evolution of myself as a living, breathing, human being.

I actually don't mind that my outfits are not high in the wackiness factor as they used to be. I believe I'm up to the point where I'm trying to have myself speak for myself rather than my clothing speaking for myself. It's a whole process of too much self analysis and reflection that can drive a college student crazy. Wearing jeans and a simple t-shirt can make me feel just as happy as wearing something extreme. Perhaps this is the point in my life that I truly feel comfortable as myself? In that my style is no longer just an expression of my personality, but it is my personality in tangible form? I feel like I no longer need to be wearing a multicolored outfit of love in order to impress people. I can do it alone with or without it.

In high school I was too afraid of showing any creativity in my outfits. The first two years in college, I experimented, getting more and more fearless as the months went by. But now after coming back from having only one suitcase full of clothes to my overfilled wardrobe, I find it odd that I now lack the motivation to get dressed in anything other than my PJs. Perhaps it's just a phase. Perhaps my style slump is symbolically representing the economic slump we're currently facing. But I think the biggest perhaps is that I just don't care anymore. Not that I don't about fashion. Definitely not. Not that I don't care about my style. Definitely not. It's that I believe that there are larger things in life that I need to start caring about other than what I'm going to wear the next day. I want to accomplish so much and want to reach for my dreams as much as I can that I've placed my outfits on the sideline. The old 'me' would strongly object. But I'm not the same anymore, and I'm happy about that.

See, we always end up in a happy note.

I was considering ending this blog because I just don't have the time or motivation to continue it. Plus, as I look back, I realize how narcissistic blogging is. But we're all narcissistic deep down and I think that's why I still do it. But I'm keeping this blog because I want a space where I can always return to if I get a moment of brilliance or want to share something fascinating. I adore all you readers if you are reading because you really want to read or because you want me to return the favor back in giving comments. Truth be told, I don't even read blogs anymore except like one. Oops, the truth came out.

14 comments:

She comes from a nowhere town she likes said...

This kind of moves me, I always look upon blogging as a somewhat self centred activity, but I will miss your witty and amusing updates :(
Ha ha ha, about the comments returning, people like that really annoy me.
Hope
xoxo
p.sI reallyloved what you say about you speaking rather than your clothes, in our society people get so overuled by inmage, so an extent where people words aren't even valued.

KD said...

This post is so amazing and thought-provoking, even though, as you said, (fashion-)blogging is quite narcissitic. Oh, and I LOVE that picture of you evolving.

Danielle Fletcher. said...

I've been a lon-time reader, never a commentator.
but I think this post deserves one.

thanks for being you and letting us know what's going on in your life, your brain, and your wardrobe.

I wish you only the best in this crazy little thing called life.

Danielle Fletcher. said...

and by lon-time, I meant LONG-time.

Rachie-Pie said...

ahh it dnt matter if u dnt read blogs as long as we get to read yours ^_^! i think like 50% of bloggers dnt read blog and just like to skim the pictures...

Alecca Rox said...

this is indeed a touching post...and one of my favourite pics you've ever posted.

i think blogging is not about narcisism but another form of communication, through words and images.

i believe we all evolve together by reading each other's blogs.

we have good days and we have bad days, but i think that blogging is the purest and most independent way to talk about fashion, beyond what publishing houses and their sponsors feed you.

if you decide to stop blogging you'll be missed. however, one must do what makes them happy;)

Eleanor Zinesters said...

well, blogging is and it isn't narcissistic...it is because you reflect on things you want to talk about it...it isn't well at least yours wasn't because each blog wasn't about "I'm sooo pretty, I'm sooo pretty, look at me, look at mah shooes!" I think your blog inspired many maybe even MILLIONS. It inspired me, it allowed me to think that there are people out there who are willing to take risks. You've inspired me in my works, and you are oh so cute. Your blog was like being able to read the diary of that really cool girl that you always wanted to be friends with, we were all able to share moments with you. But yeah we all fall into blogging slumps...I do as well, but I'd still like to feature you in my zine, if not for your blog then for your designs..:)

And the fashion world has seemed to hit a rut...I remember being excited, but recently the fall 09 trends look very similar to those in fall 08 fall 07..., I turn to other things for inspiration, like comics and video games, but that's because I'm a nerd...

good luck and best wishes to you

WendyB said...

Evolving is not a bad thing. I wish you luck!

Susie Bubble said...

I've had similar reflections about my change in style and like you I don't see it as a bad thing....do whatever you feel comfortable doing....

the iron chic said...

I don't read that many blogs either.....there!

Alya said...

LOL the pic is hilarious.

I dont believe in reading blogs just to get comments back. I barely have time to write my own posts, let alone visit other blogs to comment. But I do read tons of blogs, of all types, and I comment if I want to say something, or sometimes just to support that blogger.

iouzz said...

unbelivedableeeeeeeeee!!!im spechleeeessss!!!gUrlllll u r0ck...congratssss!!!

calangute-beach said...

haha ... well good I like ur evolution...

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