So things are changing and it's starting to freak me out. As much as I put my best effort forward into creating an optimistic, happy-go-lucky life there are times when I want to break down, stash myself into a corner (preferably my closet) and get all philosophical by having a one on one debate with myself on the meaning of life. I guess this is what life is. Changes. Adapting to the uncertainties that come our way, struggling, dealing, and eventually overcoming. Life feels so real now and it's sad to say it has never felt so 'real' until now. I've been kept in a bubble for too long - partially from my own fear and partially from the environment I grew up in. Now that all these changes are rushing towards me at 1000 mph, it's been difficult to accept them without feeling the harsh blow.
I've found that these changes have started affecting my style and my fashion life. As you can tell from the slow death of my blog, my lack of creative outfits, that more pressing matters are occupying my brain cells. My love for fashion has remained the same if not increased even more now as I realize what I really want to do in life now. I cannot answer why my style has changed but I'm pretty sure that it has to do with all these changes. I must be annoying you all right now with the number of time I've used the word "change". Don't worry, I'm not trying to steal Obama's thunder.
Through the evolution of my style, I attempt to analyze the evolution of myself as a living, breathing, human being.
I actually don't mind that my outfits are not high in the wackiness factor as they used to be. I believe I'm up to the point where I'm trying to have myself speak for myself rather than my clothing speaking for myself. It's a whole process of too much self analysis and reflection that can drive a college student crazy. Wearing jeans and a simple t-shirt can make me feel just as happy as wearing something extreme. Perhaps this is the point in my life that I truly feel comfortable as myself? In that my style is no longer just an expression of my personality, but it is my personality in tangible form? I feel like I no longer need to be wearing a multicolored outfit of love in order to impress people. I can do it alone with or without it.
In high school I was too afraid of showing any creativity in my outfits. The first two years in college, I experimented, getting more and more fearless as the months went by. But now after coming back from having only one suitcase full of clothes to my overfilled wardrobe, I find it odd that I now lack the motivation to get dressed in anything other than my PJs. Perhaps it's just a phase. Perhaps my style slump is symbolically representing the economic slump we're currently facing. But I think the biggest perhaps is that I just don't care anymore. Not that I don't about fashion. Definitely not. Not that I don't care about my style. Definitely not. It's that I believe that there are larger things in life that I need to start caring about other than what I'm going to wear the next day. I want to accomplish so much and want to reach for my dreams as much as I can that I've placed my outfits on the sideline. The old 'me' would strongly object. But I'm not the same anymore, and I'm happy about that.
See, we always end up in a happy note.
I was considering ending this blog because I just don't have the time or motivation to continue it. Plus, as I look back, I realize how narcissistic blogging is. But we're all narcissistic deep down and I think that's why I still do it. But I'm keeping this blog because I want a space where I can always return to if I get a moment of brilliance or want to share something fascinating. I adore all you readers if you are reading because you really want to read or because you want me to return the favor back in giving comments. Truth be told, I don't even read blogs anymore except like one. Oops, the truth came out.