Note: So I started writing this right after school ended but never quite finished it until now. My first post back and I'm already sounding like some peppy motivational speaker...
A forewarning. I listened to two cheesy graduation speeches this afternoon so if I sound a bit like a generic graduation speaker, lo siento peeps.
It’s always a bittersweet moment when you realize that the school year is over. Our empty room was a sad, sad, supa-sad, pitiful mess. It was a big slap in the face that forced me to realize that another year has passed. You know how everyone says that time flies by fast? Well, time flies by fast. (That’s now the millionth time you heard that phrase, go you!)
One thing about ending another year at school is that it makes me reflect on the things I have done in the past year. It makes me reflect whether or not I have accomplished any of my dreams, whether I have been the person that I want to be and whether or not I was happy with what I have done, thought, accomplished, failed, and lived. And this year, I would have to say a big YES to all three. My second year in college has by far been an extremely awesome year. Despite the busyness with everything going on, I felt like this was a year I truly started discovering who I really was – externally, internally and even in between. Even my intestines and kidneys have discovered who they are. My larynx on the other hand still needs some time to discover who he is. I can now use the excuse for my horrific singing skills by blaming my larynx for not discovering who he is yet.
But yes, this year was definitely awesome. Everything I hoped to do, I did. Everything I hoped to learn, I learned. But clearly, it did not happen without hard work and a clear focus on my goals. I think this is the first time that I’ve actually been hard working (with a little bit of laziness on the side). Double pat to the shoulder. Oh yeah.
I’ve had many people, in person and online, say to me that I am “awesome”. It’s always an awkward moment to accept compliments. Since I’m naturally awkward already, it intensifies things just a bit.
I believe that everyone has the potential for awesomeness. When I look around me, I see a budding opera singer with a part time job as an Amazonian princess. I see a future corporate gal becoming the future of graphic design. I see a famous writer and a doctor who gets a lil queasy at the sight of blood.
My road to awesomeness has not always been smooth. But what I’ve learned is the rockier the road, the more awesome the adventure.
It was only when I entered college, that I truly discovered my love for fashion and my dream of becoming part of that world. I am a business major and at that time I really wanted to double major in fine arts. For that first quarter in college, I had my mind set and I looked forward to being able to be in the studio and going to regular classes. I planned my college life class by class and even thought about how cool it would be to carry around my tools or portfolio while going to an economics class and having students stare at me. It was my idealistic dream. Too bad it was only a dream, because I was not accepted.
I had always thought that I was pretty good when it came to art so getting that “Thanks, but unfortunately” letter deflated my hopes. I panicked at the thought that I would be trapped with four years of learning supply and demand curves and debiting and crediting without being able to immerse myself in the arts. I dwelled on the thought that I wasn’t good enough, if I wasn’t good enough here, would I be good enough anywhere? My dreams of being an art geek involuntary turned into nightmares of being business geek. No. That simply wouldn’t do.
The next year, I decided that if the school could not bring art to me that I would bring art to myself. And that’s what I did. I applied to be a fashion designer and I got it. I applied to be an artist for the paper and then an assistant design director and I got them too. The more I kept pushing onward towards what I wanted to do, the more rewarding and exciting my life became. Many times, I did things on a complete whim, but surprisingly things turned out so well. I now realize that I didn’t need a major or an acceptance into the art school to prove that I was “awesome”, because “awesome” was always inside of me.
So my accomplishments may not be so grandiose. I didn’t get discovered as future of fashion. I didn’t launch a successful career, but who cares. To me, I am proud of what I have done and I think that everyone should be proud of all the things they have accomplished whether small or big.
This summer, I will strive on towards “awesomeness” and you all should too. If there is something that you really want and you dream of then you should just go for it.
For the fashion dreamer like myself...If you love fashion why not invest in a small sewing machine and just let your imagination take you places! Design for your family and friends and let them become your first clients. Even if you’ve never done any sewing before, it never hurts to try. Plus, selling online has never been easier especially with sites such as etsy.com. If you want to be a photographer, go out and set up photo shoots with your friends. Start with a your current camera, play with Photoshop, and maybe eventually save enough money to buy a professional camera. There are so many ways just to start, the hardest part is just getting up and doing it. It doens't matter if you've never or you don't think you can, as long as you try for what you love and believe in your abilities you get a big seal of awesomeness approval from me. Seriously, e-mail me and I'll make you a badge.
People might think I'm just an optimistic dreamer and that it takes more than just belief, but to those people I say, "So what." You may not end up becoming what you hoped to become or doing what you hoped to do, but as I've learned, there's always a reason and as long as you muster the courage to take that first step, you've already accomplished a lot.
We all have the potential for “awesomeness.” Just go for it. Just run with it. And remember, run like mad.
P.S If anyone does grab life by the horns and does something crazy cool with fashion and whatnot, I would love to help out and promote on my lil blog.